


we're on our way through rugged land

by geneeste



Series: Stay Gold [1]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Pay No Attention to the Woman Behind the Curtain, Platonic Soulmates of My Heart, repost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2015-08-11
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:41:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21829138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geneeste/pseuds/geneeste
Summary: It's been so long since Felicity last called that he's honestly surprised to wake up to her message.
Relationships: John Diggle & Felicity Smoak, Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak
Series: Stay Gold [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1572943
Kudos: 11





	we're on our way through rugged land

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! You might notice that this is not a new fic. I’ve been doing some archiving of old fic and realized that I didn’t love how bloated the collection “So It Goes” had gotten; it’s not very reader-friendly, particularly to readers who like to use tagging as a way to filter out stuff they don’t want to read. So I’m pulling out the longer works and publishing them as stand-alone fics. If you’re a subscriber and getting notifications about these, sorry about that! It’s not my intention to spam you, and I backdated these works to help distinguish them from new ones. Thanks for your patience, and happy reading!
> 
> —-
> 
> Set sometime after the finale. Diggle and Felicity, not communicating (until they do). Title taken from "Stay Gold" by First Aid Kit.

"Hey Dig, it's me. Felicity. Which I’m sure you know, you know what my voice sounds like." There's a beat when she's silent, and Diggle can hear the sounds of a market or mall in the background. "We're still traveling, I just thought I'd check in while we're stopped." There's silence again, and he can tell that's she's struggling, her sigh replacing her usual verbosity. "That's it, I guess. Give Lyla and Sara a kiss for me. Bye."

Diggle deletes the message.

* * *

"Dig, it's me. Again. I, uh…we're in Seattle. It's a pretty city, very techy. Not unlike Starling, actually. Which, you know, not sure why we came here if we're trying to get away from- just, never mind. It's not important. How's Sara? Is she running circles around you yet? Lyla sent me pictures of you guys in the park - she's getting so big. I miss her. I miss you. Give me a call, okay? Bye."

Diggle feels a twinge of guilt when he shuts his phone off (but he does it anyway).

* * *

Diggle is hauling groceries into their apartment - some staples, more organic applesauce than any one baby could ever eat, and several squashes Lyla swears she can turn into spaghetti - when his phone rings. By the time the bags are on the table and his phone is out of his pocket, Felicity has already hung up and the little voicemail icon is glaring at him from the top of the screen.

When he plays the message, the first thing he hears is wind rushing past a microphone, followed by Felicity's voice. "Hey." More wind, almost a whistle, and Diggle starts to feel something, something he can't identify. It's not discomfort, but it's getting close. "It's hot here. Did you know Wyoming had high-altitude deserts? I didn't know that, yet here it is."

This time the sound of her blowing out a breath breaks over the sound of the desert. "Oliver's up the trail, Diggle, he can't hear me. He doesn't know I'm calling you, if that's what you're worried about."

If Diggle knew what he was worried about, maybe he could answer her calls.

* * *

It's been so long since Felicity last called that he's honestly surprised to wake up to her message. He frowns when he sees the timestamp - _11:22pm_.

"John." The muscles in his back tense up instinctively. She sounds…wrong.

"Don't worry, Oliver's not here. He's out. He's out doing…him-things. Alone. He's out doing things alone and I know he'll be back so it's fine." Diggle has to close his eyes because it's clearly not fine. He wonders if Felicity will ever watch Oliver walk through a door and not be afraid he's never coming back.

"I know you're angry with Oliver, John, and you should be. Don't stop being angry with him. But what did _I_ do? I love you too, you know." There's a sickening turn in his stomach at that, at the way her voices rises and strains around the words, and he recognizes that feeling he didn't want to acknowledge before: shame. Shame at punishing her for her proximity to Oliver, for letting his rage and fear bleed over into indecision. But hasn't that always been his problem?

He scrubs a hand over his head as she continues, voice thick. "I've been thinking about the way it was before. Before…everything. When no one was dead and we were just starting," her words are starting to slur a bit, like she's been drinking. "Do you ever think about when it was just the three of us?"

He does.

* * *

"Hi Felicity. I'm not sure where you are now, just hope you're doing okay." He takes a deep breath, and thinks about the night they all had dinner together, everyone sitting around his table like the family they were (everyone but Oliver).

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to leave you alone. I was wrong and I'm sorry. I think about it, about all of us, too. We'll be that way again." He can't quite bring himself to include Oliver, to say his name and feel that rush of helplessness. "You should talk to him, make sure he knows where your head's at. Or you can talk to me. I'll be here, I promise. I love you too, Felicity."


End file.
